"[ Thursday, March 27, 2014 12:20:32 PM ] John Jaramillo (+15202496898): If you're back with Brian why won't you just let my son come live with me?"
"[ Thursday, March 27, 2014 12:22:40 PM ] John Jaramillo (+15202496898): I'm not with anybody"
"[ Thursday, March 27, 2014 7:40:49 PM ] Me: Who said I was back with Brian?"
"And you are with Missy."
"[ Thursday, March 27, 2014 7:43:43 PM ] John Jaramillo (+15202496898): No I'm not with Missy! wtf I fuck around just to see how everyone reacts and all Hell breaks loose. We where just fucking around is all. We haven't even talked sense the races."
"[ Thursday, March 27, 2014 8:16:16 PM ] John Jaramillo (+15202496898): Ok nvm."
Brian and I did get together again in late April. I could not be happier with anyone else than I am with him. He is real and this time, I did a background check to be sure.
He was with Missy. She had already moved in with him. So why was he trying to hide it or lie about it? It wasn't a secret. Everyone already knew.
He is my son too and he can't live there. I will not allow it. Not now. Not ever. Child molesters don't get custody. Even if he weren't a child molester, I still wouldn't allow it. For the same reason why we decided to leave him the first time. For the same reason why the kids were taken from us in 2005 and part of the reason they were taken in 2010. Because the only thing he can teach Devon is how to be a drug dealer and an addict and a liar. Because he is mentally, emotionally, and verbally abusive. Because his children are not his number one priority. Because his weed is the most important thing in the world to him. It's more important than being a man and obtaining gainful employment so he can support his family like real men do. It's more important than his other responsibilities. He'd rather have his utilities shut off and use the bill money to get more weed than anything else. He risked the family too many times already and caused damage beyond repair.
Devon woke me up about 3 AM this morning. He didn't come and wake me up. He was crying and his crying woke me up. I went and sat with him on his bed and held him while he cried. As I soothed his cries, I asked him what was wrong. He didn't answer. I asked him if he missed his dad. He said he misses everybody. He misses his family, his sisters and brothers and how things were. My heart hurt for him. I can't fix that. I can't give him that back. It's gone forever. What I can do, is arrange for phone calls and visits so there is something left of all that's lost.
He feels that he would be a better person, happier, different, had he never been taken from his family. I understand that. All the kids would be better had they never gone through that. Had JJ been different and not continued to risk everything.
JJ isn't even done causing damage and now he's drug Missy in to assist him. This time, it's her who has filed false allegations and not just against me now. They've started in on C. She filed false allegations against C too and C and I both have to be in court Thursday morning to address the allegations. If you miss 10 days of school in a quarter, regardless of the reason for missing school and they don't have to be in a row, they put you in audit status. What audit status means is the credits you would earn for the classes that quarter are stripped from you. She's already in audit status. She's worked very hard to recover from 4th quarter of last year, which JJ destroyed through the stalking ad harassing, and has her GPA back. They are talking about her not receiving her credits for any of it which would mean having to retake the classes, not graduate on time, not begin her career as planned, and all the hard work she has put into raising her grades will have been pointless. A big waste of time and effort. I've spoken to the school and been assured she will get her credits, but I do not have that in writing and received another audit status notice since then. I can only pray that they do not strip her of her credits.
There's nothing like victimizing the victims. Dragging them down and destroying them while they are trying to recover and heal and lead a normal life. JJ says the actions they are taking against us will cease as soon as I drop the Order of Protection and Criminal Investigation. And he wants Devon to live with him. So, do I give in and give him what he wants before there's nothing left for him to destroy or do I risk it all to prevent him from damaging Devon any further? I've contacted every agency I can think of for assistance and no one can assist. The Order of Protection isn't doing us any protecting. The belittling, degrading, insulting, defaming, being falsely accused and reported and drug through court by them filing lies against us, even though we prove the reports and filings are untrue, will continue to occur and will continue to escalate because I cannot drop anything. Unlike JJ, my children are my number one priority and I will not make deals with them. They are not commodities nor bargaining tools and I can't give in and let him get away with everything he has done and is doing. Moving isn't feasible at this time. That said, I have to do what I have to do to put an end to this without giving in to him. There's only so much harassment a person can handle and I've had my fill.
I'd give anything for a time machine right now. On the bright side of things, the dark cloud of destruction named JJ is no longer influencing family relations and everyone is getting along better than ever. C spends a lot of time with Devon and does things with him. Devon enjoys cat fishing at night with Brian and I. The kids and I have rebuilt our bonds of love and trust immensely stronger than ever before and we've become quite the unit together. We are the only ones we trust and the only ones we rely on. No one will ever break through these bonds. Our family, although smaller than before, is protective of each other and what is left and we won't let anyone take anything more from us. I'll protect it at all costs and by any means necessary.
Never give up. Show no mercy.
Text exchanges below between JJ and I are from November 2012, when I filed for the Divorce. He had moved in with Cassandra and wanted to move on. He tried bargaining the children then too. I love the way he talks about how he owns everything, paid for everything, yet he's never worked nor earned any money. He only had one car when I moved in with him. I had a job and I started paying bills right away. They were all past due, including his rent. We had to move because he didn't want to pay the rent. The place we moved to, we got evicted from. He wouldn't pay the rent. I got us a house through a friend of George Brown's, my boss at the time. I made the owner an offer to purchase and the owner accepted. I paid the mortgage and all the bills so that nothing got behind, shut off, or foreclosed on. I refinanced and paid off debts and car loans with some of the cash out.
He has no GED nor HS Diploma. He has no job skills. He's worth less than minimum wage. Those are his words, not mine. So how is it all his and why does he claim he paid for everything when I'm the only one that had an income?
He never paid the title loan he took out on my truck and Allied Cash Advance came and took my truck away. I did pay off the Title loan on the Honda that he had promised to Cynthia but then sold. Just like everything else he told the kids was theirs.
He's selling Devon's dirt bike now. The one he picked up for Devon; was going to fix-up with Devon; and tech Devon how to ride but never did. It's not Devon's anymore. He took it back. Nothing belongs to anyone but him. He owns everything and everyone in the household. That is a trait of an abuser.
As for who pushed what children away, that is crystal clear. He has no children. I have all my children, not all living with me, but all still in my life. They left him because they didn't want to be neglected, verbally assaulted, emotionally blackmailed and physically, emotionally, mentally and sexually abused anymore. He destroyed the family, shattered it to pieces and damaged some things beyond repair.
John: "I will probly need a copy to show the new landlord I'm not on that lease. Cause I told him about that one. So he will need proof"
Melissa: "What new landlord?"
John: "Getting a new place away from this one still"
"Melissa: With Cassandra?"
John: "Yes cause she lives in bisbee and we wold like a safe place for all the kids and us to live" [Because the Golden Acres house isn't safe. It's where he deals his weed from.]
Melissa: "That was fast."
John: "I don't know what u mean? I still need a house out side this one for all the kids.
U r seeing other people so we must b done. Must move on. And I can't b alone"
John: "If that's what u say?"
Melissa: "I'm not fucking anybody. Leave me alone right now."
John: "That's not what your text say from your new friends
Melissa: "What texts? What new friends? Whatever. Enjoy."
John: "Ok still can't tell me the truth it's cool"
Melissa: "I'm not fucking anybody. FFs. I've been on a couple dates. I've nothing to hide. How long you been fucking Cassandra?"
John: "Not fucking"
Melissa: "Having sex…fucking…at least since November 2nd"
John: "No I'm to busy for that. U can think what u want. I just want a family."
Melissa: "I'm just shocked at how quick you moved on when you supposedly loved me so much. I have a little more paperwork to fill out then you can be free of me."
John: "Nice head game. Let u go fuck around while I wait then come back to me. I don't think so. By the way I saw mark and cathy this weekend at the races and they told me everything u said so your full of it. U meant to hurt me and u did. Thanks I saw mark and cathy this weekend at the races and they told me everything u said so your full of it. U meant to hurt me and u did. Thanks"
Melissa: "I haven't spoken to mark and Cathy. You're off the lease. You cannot go in my home whenever you want any longer.
It's not that you're seeing somebody. It's that you're moving in so soon"
John: "Wow really. Now I'm an enemy. I see your true colors come out" [He wasn't living with me. He wasn't paying my bills. He wasn't providing me with anything at all, yet he thought he should have free access to my home anytime he wanted and when I corrected him, he called me evil.]
*** *** *** *** ***
John: "That's fine. But that's what I mean always seems to be about control. If that's what u want then fine do what u want."
Melissa: "There's also the extreme fear of another CPS case and knowing what you do isn't completely legal"
John: "That's why another house is in play. But what u also do is at risk so don't threaten me.
And what I'm up to is on the up and up as the sherries said when they came by. CPS will not b involved unless u make them
I have two cards in place and the right amount of plants I'm suppose to have. And am done with any others I was dealing with. The store opens December and I plan on going with that mostly and hand most of this over. U just didn't want to understand" [What you are doing is NOT on the up and up and the Sheriffs said no such thing. Show me one Sheriff that says it is OK to sell weed to the kids at Buena from the Auto Shop or that it's OK to have kids sell weed for you. You can't name a single one. He never did open the store nor did he stop dealing or hand anything over to anyone else. The store was an utter failure, just like everything else in his life. His card expired. It is still expired, yet he still uses it as an excuse to be a lazy piece of garbage.]
Melissa: "I'm not doing anything at risk nor am I threatening you."
John: "Ok then we understand each other." [This reads as a threat – subtle – but it's there]
John: "If u are going to take him from me then do it now and stop playing games. Your using him as leverage just like u did with my other stuff. If u want to hurt me that bad then just take him from me. I thought u said u would give me a son? Now I see again how it's been this whole time. If u want it all then just take it!
Your breaking my hart anyways." [Absolutely emotional blackmail. I am not a broodmare. I did not get pregnant just to hand you a son. You had another son but you beat him regularly starting before he could even walk.]
Melissa: "I'm not taking him from you. I'm filing joint custody and parenting time"
John: "What ever" [He didn't want joint custody. He wanted me to hand over Devon and walk away. I had to make adjustments because I learned he was a child abuser and molester. The law doesn't allow joint custody in that case nor would I ever allow him any type of custody over any of my children again.]
Melissa: "And what you mean other stuff?"
November 16, 2012
John: "Fuck it take it all! Ralph was right"
Melissa: "I'm not taking it all"
John: "Cynthia was right too
"U came into to my life with no transportation and u used my cars and truck to get what u wanted. That's why I say fuck it take it all. I don't care anymore I'm just going to pick up the loses and find new ones. [You had nothing without me]
"The only thing I can't replace is my one and only son and now u want him too. [He's my son, too. He's not property to give to one person or the other]
"I didn't take your children from u. U pushed them away. And all I did is love them" [You do not show love to your daughters the same way you do your wife. Beating the boys is not a loving act. Why does he always have to bring up the children? Because the children are my number one priority and the only way he can hurt me is through them.]
Melissa: "Slow down"
John: "What u mean slow down u have me fired up now!"
Melissa: "I didn't do anything."
John: "The fuck u didn't!"
Melissa: "First off, everything we have we built together. It's all community property. I am not asking for equal division. Just two vehicles. That's it." [I walked away without much of anything of all that we had built during the marriage. He had nothing when we met, except an old car.]
Melissa: "Secondly, with regards to Devon, joint custody is fair and in his best interest. He will stay with you half time and me half time. I'm going to scan the papers and email them so you can see."
John: "Ok if that's how u c it. But I did work my ass of to get that shit." [Because my perspective, just like my feelings, thoughts and opinions are always wrong. He is always sure to tell me what my perspective, feelings, thoughts and opinions really are.]
Melissa: "I worked too. We did it together.
And my kids and I are getting along just fine. Do not throw them in my face. Totally inappropriate."
John: "Ok I know u worked but u worked on your own things. And when u did stuff do me I most of the time had pay for it."
Melissa: "We both paid for everything.""
*** *** *** ***
Melissa: "I'll be getting off early. You have the renewal for the tags on the dodge?"
John: "No but I can get them. Are u going to. Are u going to make me pay back every thing. If so I think u should give me that mustang. Cause I have money in it too. And if u want me to pay the Honda and dodge truck off that's not fare. Dodge 1900 plus Honda 4 something and tags. What are u going to pay? And the washer and drier u take care of because u got the tv Your not helping take care of any of our loose ends. Your making me pay for it all." [I paid for everything for the entire 12 years together. How dare you insinuate I've done nothing and you've done it all. YOU DON'T EVEN WORK! How'd you pay for anything without an income?]
Melissa: "I'm paying on the washer/dryer and Honda. I'm going to pay for the tags on the dodge too. The loan on the dodge is your responsibility. I've already caught up on most bills at my new house and finally paid off the last of the gas deposit. So, no, I'm not making you pay for everything."
John: "U didn't say u where paying the Honda the last we text about bills. The bills at your new house like u said your house. But the bills we had together like u said. Why do u think the truck was just my bill when I used the money from it to catch up our other bills. And now u want me to pay it all myself. I had to pay new bills at my new house so we got in the same boat their." [Cassandra paid the bills at the new house]
"But what ever u know I just don't care."
"I just don't understand why u want that mustang outer than to stick it to me. Cause I have some attachment trough that motor that I had built from tom. Now your taking it." [I bought the rebuild kit and paid Tom to build the engine and traded my old restoration project to Tom for part of the engine. The Mustang was donated to the Hobby Shop.]
"And your not going to do anything with it. Except maybe give it to someone who doesn't really deserve it. But again fuck it if that's how you want to stab me ok then." [More emotional blackmail]
John: "And Devon wants to talk to the judge who settles all the divorce too. And I think he should." [Devon doesn't need that kind of pressure.]
Melissa: "The truck loan helped pay your debt to John." [His weed supplier.]
Melissa: "With regards to the Mustang, I have an attachment to it as well. We've always called it my mustang. I've always wanted to get it finished and cruise it around which is what I plan to do with it. I'm not sticking it to you or anything like that."
John: "Ill even stop seeing your children just give me my son. And no we used the money to pay the Honda off. And I invested in john to get more money. I thought that's what u thought. Lol" [Still treating the children as possessions….Yes like I said, you used to pay your debt to John. Invested in John. Paid your pot debt and re-upped. That's what you got the loan on my truck for. Then, you never paid the loan back and they took my truck away.]
Melissa: "You have a problem with the joint parenting plan? It's 50/50. Totally equal time with him."
Melissa: "So you're going to just dump Ralph and Cynthia?"
Melissa: "Family replaced."
John: "No but he wants me to have main custody not u. He wants me to make Decisions for him." [You cannot even make decisions for yourself, let alone a child. We all know what decisions you made for the other children and they were all horrible abusive decisions.]
"No I don't want to but it seems like u want it that way? So I'm willing to please u by staying away from them to have my son"
"I don't care about anyone else but my son"
Melissa: "I'm not making deals with my children's lives. I'll continue to do what's in their best interest. I'm filing the papers this afternoon. You'll need to put your objections in your response then." [It is not my fault you decided not / failed to participate un your own divorce. That's what happens when you stay stoned stupid all day every day. Time slips by and your dumb ass is too fucking lazy to get up and tend to your responsibilities. The only thing you aren't too lazy to do is crawl in bed with little girls.]
John: And yes got another family. And going to have more children together witch u said u where done with. I'm not done. And not old. I want more children and u don't. So yeah another family. It's what I need in my life. I lost all the others 😦 [You aren't a young buck, either. Maybe you should get a job so you can support a family BEFORE you go looking for a family. You lost all the others…That is nobody's fault but your own.]
Melissa: "When that ones done, I'm sure you'll replace it too. [Didn't like the sexual remarks you made to her daughters, eh? And now Missy and her girls are the new replacements. ***UPDATE: Missy is ou t and replaced by Angie and her 13 year old daughter. ]
I can't have anymore children nor do I want more children." [He'd been trying to talk me into having more kids since the other's were taken. I declined.]
John: "Nice very nice. Thanks"
Melissa: "Welcome. It angers me that you want to use the kids as pawns n make deals with their lives.
I really cannot believe you suggested that." [This is a good place to say "I told you so".]
John: "Then just give me my son and get on with your life"
Melissa: "I don't dispose of my children. Joint custody, 50/50, best interest for Devon." [Sadly, I was mistaken. Joint, 50/50 is not in Devon's best interest. Devon's best interests are served by JJ not having any custody, decision making, or involvement in his life what-so-ever.]
John: "U r the one using the kids ask them
If u say so
Your in control anyways so it doesn't matter anything I say or do."
Melissa: "Do not fight me on this please. I'm his mom and your his dad and there's nothing wrong with the way the parenting plan is written. I have to be in control. It is my life and I control my life." [Everything could've been so simple. I made it so easy. Equal time with Devon, you got the house, all the cars save my transportation to and from work plus my project, all of the other assests of the marriage. I got all new everything and took nothing. You weren't satisfied with that. You wanted it all and for me to walk away completely empty handed. you even wanted me to walk away from our son and abandon him like you did your other three children. You are seriously mental.]
*** *** *** *** ***
I haven't been silent, but I don't think I have been loud and clear enough. The easiest way to explain it so people understand and stop calling me crazy it to show them in JJ's own words and other things. I'll be doing the documentation of the signs of the sexual abuse soon. Medical records documenting the physical side-effects of the abuses and sexual abuse suffered by the children as well as the emotional and mental effects. There are others I will be listing as well that are long-term side effects and only now being discovered and documented. No, I don't know if I'm doing the right thing or if I'll regret this. But…I get an inbox once in a while containing a thank you and/or words of encouragement. So…I shall carry on and hope for the best.
The children have done nothing wrong. They are not mentally deficient not handicapped. They carry the scars of their childhood just like everyone else. Some need a little more help getting past the past than others, but they are all beautiful, wonderful kids in spite of what JJ put them through.
No More Silence